“I’m sure they felt they had to invite me to this party. They will probably be relieved if I don’t go.”

“I can’t believe she did not acknowledge me. I must not be important enough.”

“I knew I should not have worn this dress, now everyone thinks I look awful.”

“I can’t believe I said that. The words just came out of my mouth. What are people thinking?”

“Everyone else seems to know one another—I just do not belong.”

“I have nothing interesting to add to conversations, they probably think I’m boring.”

“I must be an awful mother; everyone else’s kids seem so accomplished.”

Do any of these negative messages sound familiar? Sometimes, such thoughts are so fleeting; we do not even realize they exist. Yet, if we pay careful attention to our feelings, we can detect destructive and damaging internal messages.

On the one hand, we know such thinking is ridiculous; we are adults and should be way past worrying about other peoples’ perceptions. We should have learned by now, that people are thinking about themselves, not about us. On the other hand, our childhood insecurities seem to defy logic and rear their ugly heads.

We must stop sabotaging our self confidence. By being cognizant of negative self messaging, we can identify harmful thoughts and stop them in their tracks! Increased awareness will help us to recognize diminishing self judgments and either stop them or replace them with positive messaging.