It should be so simple, yet we have such a difficult time asking for what we want or need and then keeping our mouths shut. Too often, when we finally summon the courage to make the ask, we become anxious waiting for an answer, often fearing rejection. This is true whether it is a sale, help on a project, or in my case, an invitation to join a Board.

The “Asker” invited me to lunch. She told me the virtues of this particular organization. She went on to extol the work that they do and to delineate board member responsibilities. As she was speaking, I thought, “why not.” The meetings were minimal and their mission was interesting. “Maybe I’ll try it,” I thought to myself. As the words, “I accept” were working their way to my tongue, the Asker, unable to wait out my initial silence, jumped in. “I know this is asking a lot for you, I know how busy you are. We understand if you can‘t do it,” she rambled on through our salads. Her anxiety was palpable. By the time coffee was served, I decided she was right, I probably was too busy and turned her down.

The old adage goes, “Whoever speaks first, loses.” Make the ask, and sit tight for a while. Silence is ok, get comfortable with waiting!