“Things are what they are. We cannot change the facts. The only thing we have any control over is what we tell ourselves about the facts.” While intellectually, we acknowledge this statement, emotionally it can be difficult to implement. Yet, when we learn this skill, it can change our lives.

A friend moved her nearly blind grandmother to a nursing home. When they arrived, my friend cringed at the small room, stained drapes and altogether depressing environment. Walking in and sitting down on the bed, her grandmother exclaimed, “What a nice place! I just love it!”

“Grandma, how can you say that? You can hardly see it.” My friend exclaimed. “Oh sweetheart, haven’t you learned, it is not about what the place looks like that matters. The only thing that counts is what we tell ourselves. And, I love it!”

How many times a day do we give ourselves negative messages? Before we can even intercede or acknowledge that WE are the source of the negativity, our self-imposed message becomes our reality. With practice and awareness, however, we can stop the negative messages before they become our truth, and replace them with a positive viewpoint.

It is difficult and takes a concerted effort. For example, the other day, I caught myself thinking, “Oh no, not more ice and snow. I hate being stuck inside.” Fortuitously, I caught myself, and replaced the thought with, “How beautiful, look at this unspoiled blanket of snow. It will allow me some time to catch up on paperwork.” Ok, I still hated being stuck—but at least my initial extreme negativity was modified!

I would love to hear how you refocus. laura@realwomenwin.com #bereal.